This is a well known fact, right? The whole “door is closed, but a window is opened” theory of life. I had cancer, but it taught me the value of every moment, of decreasing the stress level in my life, of appreciating my loved ones. I didn’t get the first public school job I applied for, after an extensive interview and model lesson, but I got one that was even better because it was closer to my house, emphasized the arts, and caused me to meet my love. I lost money and self respect in my last relationship, but it taught me how to think ahead, live my own dreams, and leave a really bad situation before things got even worse. Everyone’s had these situations in their lives. And probably most of us forget that “better” is just lurking around the corner from “worse” if we can just hang in there long enough. And most of the time it is “a lot better.”
So here I have two songs. One is the “worse,” when Sarita decided she had to break up with me and stay in her old relationship. Lucky for me, that lasted only one month, and I got a song out of it that I really love. And the other song is what Sarita and I do for each other, and are able to do for ourselves because we’re with each other. It is the “much better” and thank goodness for that!
With our new camping trailer, and with only one more year of teaching, change is once again imminent, and we are reminded how scary it is, how much it feels like jumping off a cliff. We have jumped many times together, we have had a moment of doubt each time, but the overwhelming urge to jump has sustained us through the scariest parts, and we’ve never regretted a single leap into the unknown. In fact, we have gained a wonderful little house in New Mexico, some dear friends, 3 incredible dogs, and who knows what else. So although it is frightening in this crazy world to give up a secure job for a tiny, measly retirement wage, we know that there will be openings happening because of this. Hopefully, they will involve the success of the graphic novels, and new involvements in projects in New Mexico, as well as a continuation of the things we already love to do. But whatever they are, they will have their ups and downs, and they will take us along the river that is our path to the future.
I’ve been waiting to see your dance
The very one
You said would be
For only me
I’ve imagined it well
Your body turns
Your dark eyes burn
Through my shell
I thought this dance
Would bring us closer and then
I believed it when you said
You were ready to take the first steps.
But when you turned
It was away
You brought me here
Then turned away.
You danced with my emotions
You danced around my heart
And the dance you said you’d do with me
Was the one that meant we’d part.
Then you turned and you said
You were sad
And so sorry
For all the pain
That you caused
But your path was away
With that lover
You would stay
And I’d have to
Accept this decision you’re making
And I watched you just walk away
Told myself I could make my own dance.
Because when you turned….
Now I dance for a new future
And I dance for all my friends
And this dance is for beginnings
That come from all the ends.
Jump Into Change
Jump into change from your heart
Fly like the bird in your soul
Leap across the canyons of old
Sing all the songs of your loves
Words filled with life in the stories told.
Once there was a girl who could do
Any and all things
While learning her mind was never still
Her lovers lived in the dark shadows
Of jealousy and fear
Dare to break out through fire she will.
Jump into change…
Another girl was acting all shy
Invisible was her state of mind.
She had a lot of thoughts to express
And kept searching until
Kind loving helped leave her fears behind.
A woman is so bold and brave
And inside she’s all alone
Must decide what’s right for herself
And live it.
Jump into change…